The Courtship of River Tam
by psycholizard
Summary: RiverBadger. MalRiver. PostShindig. Followup to Loyalty, so read that one first. Badger likes River, River like Badger. Mal doesn't like Badger so he decides he's gonna like River.
1. Confusion

**A/N: All of this belongs to Joss, I'm just playing in his sandbox.**

Mal walked into Badger's den, followed by Zoe, and stopped short. Zoe nearly bumped into his back.

"Sir?" she inquired as she looked over his shoulder to see what made him stop so abruptly. At first glance, everything was normal. Then she saw Badger. He was standing there, arms folded across his chest, leaning up against his desk. His hat was off and placed on the desk behind him. But that wasn't what had Mal shocked. It was the look on Badger's face.

Badger stood there, lost in thought and smiling. It wasn't a devious smile. It wasn't an evil grin. It was a full blown, lost-in-a-happy-memory smile. Badger hadn't yet noticed them enter the room. He was too lost in thought. And smiling. Mal cleared his throat.

"Uh, Badger?" he said. Badger looked up, annoyed at having his thoughts interrupted.

"Hey, cap'n. How you doin?" Mal looked at him in suspicion. He couldn't figure out what made Badger so happy.

"Um, I'm doing fine, Badger." He paused slightly, then asked "You ok?" Badger nodded.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be fine?" He shrugged then sat down at his desk. "Well, let's get down to business, then." Mal looked at Zoe, who was also perplexed at Badger's unusual behavior. He hadn't made one crude comment toward her since they walked in. Mal nodded slowly, and sat down across from the unusual little man. They discussed Badger's latest business proposition and drop off, eventually coming to an amiable deal that worked for all parties involved. In all his years dealing with Badger, working out a deal had never been so easy. They stood and shook hands.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Badger," said Mal as he and Zoe turned to leave.

"Always cap'n," Badger replied. "Oh, by the by, Malcolm, how's the l'il flower petal o' yours doin?" Mal turned and cocked and eyebrow as he looked at him.

"Kaylee?" He asked. "She's doin fine." Badger chuckled and shook his head.

"Not that flower petal. The other one," he said. "The one with he big eyes that follow you everywhere." Seeing that he was getting nowhere with Mal, Badger decided to be more specific.

"Li'l River," he said.

"Doin fine, I spect," was Mal's reply. He didn't really like where this conversation was headed and didn't want to give Badger any more information than necessary. How did Badger know River anyway? He couldn't recall ever introducing them. He'd have to ask Zoe about it later.

"Well," said Badger, as he peeled an apple slowly. "When you see her, tell her ole Badger says hello." He winked at Zoe then took a bite of his apple and walked off, leaving behind a very confused Mal.


	2. Conversations

"Did anything about that seem strange to you?" Mal asked, as he and Zoe walked back toward _Serenity_. Zoe looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Other than the fact that Badger was smiling, sir?" she replied. "Cause that's all sorts of unusual." Mal nodded and looked over at his second in command.

"How's he know bout River anyway?" he asked. "Makes me a mite uncomfortable that he was asking bout her."

"Well, sir," Zoe replied. "He did meet her once. Few months back, after that fancy shindig you and Kaylee went to. You were locked up by Atheron Wing so Badger and his goons stopped by to ensure we wouldn't run off and be big damn heroes trying to rescue you. I think River made an impression on him, sir."

"Huh," came the response. "Guess I have to have a little talk with my albatross."

"Might be a wise idea, sir," Zoe agreed.

They walked in silence the rest of the way back to the ship and were met on the ramp by Simon.

"Have you seen River?" he asked in a worried tone. Zoe shook her head.

"You haven't lost your sister, now, have you doc?" Mal asked as they walked into the cargo hold. He closed the ramp behind him and looked at the doc.

"I'm sure she's around here somewhere, sir," Zoe continued. River popped her head up from a metal grate below their feet.

"You found me, Simon!" she said cheerfully. Mal looked down at her, then smiled up at the doc.

"See, doc," he said, as though he had been in on it the whole time. "She was playing hide and seek." Simon sighed and turned around, heading back to the infirmary. Mal leaned over and whispered to Zoe.

"I didn't know we had a compartment down there," he said. Zoe raised an eyebrow and look at River, who was crawling out of the hole in the metal plating.

"We didn't, sir," she replied before she walked off. River stood up and straightened out her dress. She turned to leave, but before she could go far, Mal reached out and grabbed one of her arms.

"Now, where are you going, l'il albatross?" he asked. River smiled sweetly at him.

"Not little," she replied. "Haven't been for a long time. Headed to the bridge. The little man gave my Captain a new job and I must pilot us to our destination."

"Why don't we do that together," Mal said after a moment. "You and me gots to have us a little chat." Still holding onto her arm, Mal headed up to the bridge. He sat River down in one of the seats and sat down to begin the take-off sequence. They worked in silence for a few moments until the ship broke atmo. Setting it on auto-pilot, Mal turned his chair toward River and regarded her for a moment. River tried not to look at him directly, but the weight of his stare was too much. Guiltily, she looked up at him.

"Do you know what we need to talk about, River?" Mal asked in a serious tone. River tried hard not to read him, but a few images leaked through.

_Badger, River, compromise, say hello to that pretty flower petal._

"She is sorry, captain," she burst out. "She didn't mean any harm. Didn't think you would know and didn't think he would say anything. It was just a kiss, she swears it!" Mal had sat up straighter during her outburst, but at hearing this last part, he shot up out of his chair.

"What's this now, _mei mei_?" he asked. "What's this about a kiss?" River looked away and realized she had said too much.

"You didn't know about the kiss," she said. It was a statement not a question.

"No I didn't know 'bout any _gorram_ kiss!" he shouted, his voice thundering through the small bridge. River looked at him sheepishly.

"It was just a small kiss," she said in a tiny voice. "Well, mostly."

"Mostly!" Mal sputtered. "That _gorram hun dan_ took advantage of you and kissed you! I'm gonna kill him."

Zoe had heard the yelling from below decks and had come to investigate.

"Sir," she said as she walked onto the bridge. "Is everything alright?" Mal turned and looked at her, speechless for a moment. He pointed at River, who was trying to make herself blend in with the pilot's chair.

"I just found out why Badger was so interested in River," he said. "Seems at some point he took advantage of her and kissed her!" Zoe looked from River to Mal, then back to River.

"Sure it wasn't the other way around, sir?" she asked, trying not to show the smirk that threatened to push forward. River looked up at her and tried not to smile. Mal tried not to look so flustered, but he wasn't succeeding. Finally, he took a deep breath and turned to his first mate.

"Zoe," he stated. "You're a woman. Please deal with this. I have captain-y things I need to go do. Such as figuring out how to kill Badger next time we see him." Mal turned and walked off the bridge. Zoe looked down at River, who was setting their flight course. She sat down in the chair next to River, unsure what to say.

"I misunderstood the meaning of the Captain's thoughts," River said as she turned and looked at Zoe. "Thought he knew."

"Why did you kiss Badger?" Zoe asked after a while. River smiled sheepishly and stared down at the console.

"Had to make sure he would never turn me in. Copper for a kiss," she replied. Zoe could at least understand that much. In her own unique way, River had ensured Badger's loyalty. What Zoe couldn't understand was why River was smiling about it.

"It was a very good kiss," River replied, looking up as though she heard Zoe's thought. Zoe shuddered in slight revulsion and stood to leave.

"I'm gonna go help the Captain do his captain-y things," she said and walked off the bridge.


	3. Dinner date with Badger

Two weeks later, River piloted _Serenity_ into the Eavesdown docks on Persephone, setting her down nice and easily. The job Badger had given them went off without a hitch, for a pleasant change, and Mal was set to bring him the payload. Mal had calmed down in the last two weeks, once Zoe explained that River only kissed Badger to keep him silent. She had wisely left out the part where River actually enjoyed the kiss. But River was finding herself thinking more about the last time she had seen Badger, and strangely enough, she found herself excited to see him again.

Mal walked quietly onto the bridge, breaking her out of her reverie.

"Gotta make this drop with Badger in a few hours," he said as he sat down next to her. "How would you feel bout coming along?" She looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"Aren't you worried he'll take advantage of me, Captain?" she asked, trying to hide her excitement.

"Well, Zoe and me'll be there to protect your virtue," he replied with a wry grin. "Besides that, if Badger likes you as much as you seem to think, then maybe I'll finally make it out of a job without getting shot." River stood up and walked over to him. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek,

"I love my captain," she said before she scurried off to get ready.

A few hours later, Zoe and Mal were in the cargo bay, waiting for River to join them. The plan was to drop the cargo, pick up the payload and hopefully get a new job. Jayne, who was loading the cargo into the mule, stopped and gave a low whistle.

"Never knew crazy could look like that," he said. Mal and Zoe turned around and watched as River walked down into the cargo hold. She had her hair pulled loosely back, with a few delicate strands that framed her face. She had some sort of subtle makeup applied to her eyes, which made them stand out, and her lips looked glossy and fresh. Her dress skimmed her body and on her feet were a delicate pair of sandals. All in all, even Mal had to admit she looked beautiful. Of course, he could never let her know that.

"Why're you all dressed up," he asked grumpily. "It's just Badger." River gave him another one of her patented sweet smiles.

"Am ensuring the drop goes well and you will have another job to follow up," she replied. "Don't worry, Captain. I'm fully armed." Jayne looked at her up and down, imagining all the places in that get-up where she could hide a gun. He leered at her when he realized there weren't many. River just rolled her eyes in return as she stepped up into the mule. Mal and Zoe got in after her.

"I'm beginning to think this was a very bad idea," Mal said to his second in command.

"When are your ideas ever good ones?" she replied, as they drove off in the direction of Badger's lair.

They pulled up a few minutes later, and in a rare moment of gentlemanly behaviors, Mal helped River step out of the mule without ruining her sandals. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and thanked him, which caused Zoe to shoot him a questioning look. Mal and Zoe hefted the cargo off the mule while River pranced into Badger's office, if it could be called that. Unlike all the other times they had been to see Badger, this time they had no trouble getting in. Badger stood up from behind his desk when he saw them and flashed a big grin at little River.

"Well, hallo there, luv," he said advancing toward her. Mal cleared his throat and set the cargo down on the ground.

"Here's your goods, Badger," he said. "We just need our pay, then we'll be outta here." Badger ignored him and continued his advance on River.

"And how's my l'il flower petal doin eh?" he said, smiling down at her. River looked up at him and grinned. She reached up and brushed some invisible lint off his jacket, then straightened his tie. She tilted her head in Mal's direction and looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey, Mal," Badger said without looking away from River. "There's been a change of plans. I take your pilot out to dinner, then I pay you. _Dong ma?_" He fingered a loose strand of River's hair and tucked it behind her ear. Mal sputtered for a moment, slightly disgusted by the sight of Badger touching his pilot.

"She can't go with you," he blurted out. River shot him an annoyed look. Mal continued to speak.

"She has, uh, pilot-y things that I need her to do," he finished lamely. Badger leaned against his desk and looked at Mal. In a move that surprised Mal, River hopped onto the desk beside him and crossed her legs. It made quite the intimidating picture.

"Does she now?" Badger said with a hint of sarcasm. River leaned one arm on Badger's shoulder and cocked her head as she stared at Mal. It made Mal all sorts of uncomfortable.

"She does," Mal replied, trying to maintain some sense of authority. "And even if she didn't, there's no way I'd allow her to go out to dinner with a low-life like yourself." Badger chuckled.

"Even I don't pretend like I could control this l'il minx," he replied. "I have a feelin' that if she wants something, she gets it."

River hopped down off the desk and walked over to Mal. She leaned up and whispered something quietly in his ear. Mal regarded her for a moment, then turned back to Badger.

"Fine, take her to dinner, but I expect her back on board the ship by 10pm and not a minute later. If she isn't there, I'm sending Jayne out with Vera." Mal turned to Zoe.

"Let's go Zoe," he said as he picked up the cargo and carried it back to the mule.

"Hey Malcolm!" Badger called out after him. "Where are you taking my load?"

"You get it when my pilot is back on board, safe and sound," Mal replied and walked out. Zoe picked up the other crate and followed him outside.

"Sir," she began as they hefted the crates into the back seat and got in. "Are you sure it was a wise idea to leave her with him?"

"No, but River seemed to think it would be okay," he replied. "Gorram it! What am I supposed to tell her brother!"

Back inside, River turned and looked at Badger, flashing him a shiny smile. He motioned to his guards to leave, which left him and River alone in the room.

"It's about time he left, dontcha think, luv?" Badger walked toward her and placed a hand on her hip. River looked up at him through those dark lashes that nearly undid him. He reached up his other hand and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and his hand lingered for a moment on her cheek.

"This get-up for me?" he asked. River smiled and tilted her head upward for a light kiss, which Badger was only too willing to provide.

"I have to tell you a secret," she said quietly in her fake accent.

"You're not from Dyton Colony," he replied. It was a statement and not a question. River glanced down and shook her head.

"I'm sorry I lied," she answered in her normal voice. Badger shrugged.

"Don't matter none, now do it?" He said as he took her hand and headed to the door. "Still a pretty l'il flower, aint ya? But you haven't answered my question. This get-up for me?"

River smiled at him and nodded affirmative. They walked into the street, heading toward a restaurant a few blocks away. Badger looked back at her and gave her a wide and toothy grin.

"I like it," he said with a wink.


	4. Fortyfive minutes

River was nervous. It was almost an oxymoron. She had escaped from the Academy, faced down a horde of evil, angry Reavers, battled her inner demons and emerged victorious, and regularly went on out on jobs with Mal as an extra gun hand. Yet, here she sat, at a private table across from Badger, and she was nervous. Over the past two weeks out in the Black, River had attempted to prepare herself for a future meeting with the strange little man. She had stolen some of Kaylee's romance novels and surreptitiously watched Inara's reactions via the cortex with potential clients, and calculate all the potential variables, but nothing had prepared her for the experience of being regarded as a real woman, wanted and desired.

Badger had decided to take her to a fancy restaurant on the other side of the city in an effort to impress her. It had worked. River could admit she was suitably impressed, as she had been worried that they would be unable to get in to this establishment with no reservation. However, Badger knew the manager and was able to pull some strings to get them a seat. They had been sat in a private area away from the main crowd on a dais overlooking the city. It was a beautiful view. Badger moved his seat closer to hers and leaned across the table. He caught her eye and gave her a little wink and a smile. River was certain he thought he was being quite dashing, however, she had to try not to giggle.

"See anything you want, sweets?" Badger asked as he peered over the menu at the girl across from him. She looked from her study of the menu and smiled at him, which in turn made him grin like a bit of a fool. It amused her and simultaneously made her stomach flutter.

"Never had the food here," she responded and placed her menu on the table in front of her. "Perhaps you could make a suggestion." She raised an eyebrow at the little man and gave him a flirtatious look she had seen Inara give a client. Badger sat up a bit straighter with a proud look on his face and grinned a little wider. Right now, he was feeling quite the part of a regular gentleman and if he played his cards right, this girl could be very good for his business, among other things. After all, a pretty lady on his arm could make him look much more respectable in the community of which he was a part.

"Well, luv," he replied and he leaned in closer and indicated a few items on the menu in front of her. "I personally enjoy the chicken, however, I've heard tell that the baked salmon is most appetizing." River rested her chin on one hand and looked at him.

"Well," she replied. "If you get the chicken, I'll get the salmon, and then we can share." She gave him a coquettish smile and stroked his hand lightly. River was pleased with the reaction it got. Badger shivered slightly at her touch and again moved his chair slightly closer to her. He had done that several times throughout the date, and was now positioned almost directly beside her. His proximity was nerve-wracking and left her unsure as to how to proceed. Thankfully, she was saved from any embarrassment by the appearance of their waiter. He placed a bottle of chilled vintage wine on their table and took their order. Badger poured them each a glass and raised it in a toast.

"Cheers, flower," he said as he took a sip. River raised her glass in response and followed suit.

A few hours and few glasses of wine later, River was beginning to feel a slight buzz that she recognized as the inability of her liver to metabolize the alcohol present in the wine at a faster rate than she was consuming. In other words, she was drunk. She felt warm and relaxed and moved in closer to Badger. She leaned up against him and he put his arm around her. He was currently regaling her with a story of life back on Dyton Colony, while he smoked on a cigar. Specifically, it was the story of how he got kicked off the moon and spiraled down into a life of smuggling and piracy. Even through her drunken haze, River recognized many of the elements as being exaggerated. For instance, she knew for a fact that no lions existed on Dyton Colony, so it would have been impossible for Badger to fight one off with his bare hands. However, she decided now was not the best moment to point this out to him and instead giggled at his storytelling. Badger took her giggle as a sign of encouragement and continued to speak, using a louder voice than normal and grand gestures. However, they were interrupted by the loud crash of two men barreling into the fine establishment with their guns drawn.

It seemed as though Simon had discovered his little sister's absence from the party arriving back on the ship and had questioned Mal about her whereabouts rather forcefully. Being that the two of them believed River was enduring a fate worse than death, they quickly devised a plan to rescue her from what they were certain was a dreadfully dull dinner date with a man far beneath her intellectual level, among other things. Therefore, they were quite surprised when, after barging into the restaurant, they caught sight of River leaning up against Badger and giggling at his emphatic story telling.

Mal and Simon were oblivious to the fearful stares of the rich patrons in the restaurant and stormed over to where River and Badger were ensconced. In a moment of manliness Jayne would have been proud of, Simon punched Badger in the jaw, knocking him off his chair and onto the ground.

"Come on, _mei mei_, let's go," he said as he grabbed her arm and proceeded to drag her away. Much to his surprise, River wrenched free of his grasp and knelt down beside Badger, who was still lying flat on his arse.

"Are you alright," she asked with a worried gaze as she stroked his chin and propped him into a sitting position. Badger thoughtfully rubbed the spot where Simon punched and nodded.

"I'll be ok, luv," he replied, turning his gaze from Mal and Simon to her. He smiled at her, then winced and realized it wasn't a good idea. River helped him to stand up and he turned to look at Mal.

"Now Mal," he said with an appraising stare. "Din't I tell you that I'd get your pretty little pilot back by ten o'clock sharp? And din't I say I'd give you the money at that point in time?"

"Now just a minute," Simon interrupted. Badger turned his gaze toward the young man. "My sister is very unstable and you are reprehensible for taking advantage of that!"

"Who the gorram are you?" he asked.

"I'm her brother," Simon responded, stuttering slightly.

"Well, then," Badger replied. "Seeing as how that's the case, and you're prolly feeling protective of her, I can let this transgression pass. But since it's only 9:00, I believe I have another sixty minutes to go before returning her to your vessel. So, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me."

With that, Badger took River by the hand and they walked out of the restaurant.

"Simon, you're a boob," River said as they passed.

Badger whispered something to the maitre-de on the way out and soon a waiter was headed over to where Mal and Simon stood with slack jaws.

"Sirs, the gentleman indicated you would be paying the bill," he said as he handed Mal a slip of paper.

Outside, Badger led River back to his office. She was enjoying the feel of her hand in his and had to bite back a warm sigh. Instead, she just smiled at him and was rewarded with a smile in return.

"I figure we have 'bout forty-five or so minutes 'fore I have to get you back to your ship," Badger said, holding open the door for her. "Got any idea how we can enjoy that forty-five minutes?" River smirked and leaned in close to him.

"Oh I have a fair idea," she responded and pressed her lips against his.

They ended up being late back to the ship, but River definitely enjoyed her forty-five or so minutes.


	5. Mal gets an idea

Mal paced in front of the door to Inara's shuttle, pondering whether he should break with tradition and knock before entering or if he should just barge in. He was in desperate need of her advice, although he would never admit it, and wanted to put her in a good mood before asking. So, in a moment of weakness, he pounded loudly on the door.

"'Nara!" he yelled from the outside. "You in there? I need to talk to you." Inara opened the door with a shocked look on her face.

"Wonder of wonders, you actually knocked!" she said in a surprised voice. Without waiting to be invited inside, Mal entered the shuttle and sat down on one of the fancy silk covered couches.

"Of course, it was too much to hope you developed any more semblance of civility," she remarked dryly crossing her arms. "What do you want?"

Mal leaned back against the couch and sighed. Then he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He opened his mouth and was about to speak when he suddenly shut his mouth, stood up and began pacing the floor of Inara's shuttle. He had to talk to her, that much he knew. But he had no idea where or how to start. Thankfully, he was saved from beginning this incredibly awkward conversation by Inara's impatience.

"Mal," Inara said with some concern. "What in the world is going on?"

"River went out on a date with Badger!" Mal exclaimed. Inara's eyebrows shot up and she pondered all the possible connotations the word 'date' entailed.

"Define 'date'," she replied as she desperately called on her Companion training to reign in the surprise and disgust she felt at the thought of Badger going on a date with anyone, much less River. To put it in mild terms, Inara thought Badger was a weasel, and not just in looks. Therefore, the idea that River would willing be seen out in public with the man was a matter of great concern to her. Silently, she made a promise to herself to speak with River on this matter in the very near future. She turned her attention back to Mal as she realized he had begun to speak again.

"He took her out for dinner, against my express wishes I might add. He held her hand in front of me! And, in my understanding, at some point in time, he kissed her," Mal responded in exasperation frustration. Inara had to fight back the bile that had risen in her throat at the image of Badger kissing anyone. The image of him kissing River was even more disturbing. But surely there was more to it then meets the eye. River was a smart girl. She knew what she was doing in all situations and had proven so on more than one occasion. Surely she had a reason, although Inara was hard-pressed to think of any.

"Well," she replied as calmly as she could, sitting down on the couch. "Perhaps there's more to it than we know. I mean, Badger isn't completely reprehensible, is he?"

Mal just gave her a look that told her all she needed to know.

"Alright then," she responded. "Let's look at this logically, shall we?"

"There's no logic in dating Badger," Mal replied as he sat down beside her. Inara tucked her feet delicately under her and began to think.

"Well, perhaps she likes him," Inara said after a moment. "I mean, is it so unlikely? He doesn't know her past, doesn't know her mental capacity. All her knows is what he sees, and even you have to admit she looked stunning going into town today." Mal nodded in agreement then rested his chin in his hand, deep in thought.

"So what you're saying is that she's doing this because he's the first person to show interest?" he asked after a brief pause.

"It's a possibility. You have to remember, her options for exploring her sexuality are limited," Inara responded, taking into consideration the men that travelled on board the vessel.

"Please don't use the word sex when talking about my pilot, Inara. Especially not when we're talking in the context of her and Badger," Mal replied. Inara rolled her eyes at him.

"I said sexuality, not sex, Mal," Inara stated. "Don't be such a puritan. She's 18 years old, it's only natural for her to begin exploring her wants and desires. She's a beautiful young woman, Mal."

"Yes, she is!" Mal agreed readily on that point, causing Inara's eyebrow to raise almost imperceptibly. "I get that part of it," he continued. "But why Badger?"

"Who else would you suggest?" Inara asked with a chuckle. "There's not exactly a plethora of available men on board the ship."

"So you're saying if someone else was available to her, she might not be so interested in Badger?" Mal asked, looking at her intently.

"No, I was merely suggesting that…" Inara tried to respond but was interrupted by Mal.

"That the only reason she's interested in Badger is because there's no one else available," he finished as he stood up. Inara sat up straighter. She wasn't sure she liked where Mal's train of thought was going, although it could provide some entertainment to her and the rest of the crew. But what was she thinking, this was River they were talking about.

"It's a possibility, but I think it's best if…" Inara tried to get her thought out, but was once again interrupted by Mal.

"Someone else be made available to her," he responded, not letting her finish. Inara's mouth hung open and she was unsure what to say. Mal stood and grinned at her. He headed for the door to her shuttle before turning once more to flash her a shiny smile.

"Thanks 'Nara," he said as he exited. "You cleared a lot up for me."

Inara huffed when he left and leaned back against her cushions. She pondered what she knew was about to happen and couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle. This would be interesting. It would be very interesting indeed.

Meanwhile, Mal headed down from the shuttle to the infirmary where Simon was busy re-organizing his med drawers. He walked up beside the doctor and startled him.

"Hey doc," he said, slapping him on the back, ignoring the wince Simon gave. "I got me an idea on how to get River away from Badger."

Simon turned around and regarded the man, who currently had a very foolish grin on his face.

"I'm almost afraid to know what it is," he responded warily. Mal just grinned harder.

"Doc," he replied. "I'd like your permission to court your sister."


	6. Mal's brilliant plan

Mal walked toward the bridge of his ship in the hopes of finding his wayward pilot. He had been searching for River all day, however, whenever he found her, she promptly made the excuse that she had to be elsewhere and walked in the opposite direction to him. This left him more than a tad concerned and very frustrated. How in the world was he supposed to successfully court her and woo her away from Badger if she wouldn't even stay in the same room as him for longer then a minute? If he didn't know any better, he would think she was avoiding him for some reason. Perhaps she was, but in a way, Mal understood. He was certain that the reason for her actions at the moment were due to his strong reaction against Badger earlier that week, which Mal knew were perfectly justified, even though she might not see it that way. After all, the man had brought her back to the ship ten minutes after her curfew. He was the Captain, after all, and when he said to be back on the ship at a certain time, he meant it. However, he tried to ignore the shot of anger that pierced through his belly at the sight of his pilot looking all trussed up and thoroughly kissed. It put a mighty fine dent in his calm, which led to Badger getting punched for a second time that evening.

Mal was still trying to figure out her comment about untrained apes being unable to function properly without adequate pet control.

Regardless of what she thought, Mal was certain she would see reason soon enough. After all, if Inara was correct, then River was simply suffering from a lack of available men with which to explore her newfound sexuality, and Mal certainly considered himself a fine man. Not to mention, his motivation was purely selfless, the same of which could not be said for Badger. Mal was only doing this for her own good. She probably drifted toward Badger because he was the first guy to show an interest in her, in that particular fashion. Now that he thought about it, it was probably the Captain-Pilot relationship that confused her and made her run, but once he made certain that she knew it wasn't an issue then he probably wouldn't even have to do much work in courting her. She would come to him all on her own.

River on the other hand, was not amused by the Captain's actions. Not amused at all. She had spent her entire morning trying to avoid him, an exercise that was proving futile as it was a small ship and there were limited spaces in which to hide. Therefore, she had currently tucked herself away into a small compartment usually reserved for smuggling various contraband items through Alliance patrols. As she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, she thought about her current predicament.

The Captain was incorrect in assuming she was confused about their current working relationship. As was he also incorrect in assuming she would see what he felt was reason. She was, however, in quite a conundrum. The Captain did not realize (or at least, did not want to realize) that it was she who made the first move on Badger and not vice versa. As time went on, River found that she genuinely enjoyed Badger's company. Sure, he was a psychotic lowlife weasel who wouldn't hesitate to rat out his own mother, should the appropriate threats be given, but it wasn't as though she couldn't take him down if the need arose. He saw her as normal, which was something not many people did, even the Captain. He saw her as a woman perfectly capable of making her own decisions and was under no pretenses that he could control her actions. That was the biggest problem with the Captain's current, very much flawed, plan. Mal did not think she could make up her own mind and therefore, needed him to make it up for her. In essence, he thought he was acting in her best interest, when in fact, the opposite was true. It was all very exasperating.

The biggest flaw in Mal's plan was that he had not thought it through to its logical conclusion. While this was true for most of his brilliant schemes, this particular scheme would have consequences he could not, nor would not, foresee. Namely, of chief concern, was the fact that, should she allow him to 'court' her, as he so delicately worded it, there would be a certain amount of feelings and emotions that would inevitably become involved. River could easily foresee the unpleasantness that would arise should Mal be successful in his plan. However, she could also see the potential for a happy outcome. All in all, it was frustrating. Why could Mal not just leave things be and allow her to enjoy things the way they were? He could be such a meddler sometimes.

The simple fact of the matter was that River had been perfectly content to see Badger on a casual basis in order to explore her feelings of being 'normal', and from what she could tell, Badger was more than capable of showing her what 'normal' was. She knew there was little, if any, chance of a long term lasting relationship with the man, but felt there was no harm in enjoying what time she could spend with him.

She smirked as she remembered how much she enjoyed the last time she was with Badger. He might not look like much, but he knew what he was doing, that much was certain.

Sighing, she brought her thoughts back to her current predicament. A predicament named Mal. He had it in his mind to woo her away from Badger, but still thought of her as a little girl. She pondered for a moment what his reaction would be to discovering exactly why she was so attractive to Badger.

So as River sat there, listening to the sound of Mal calling her name as he tried to locate her, she came up with a plan of her own. If Mal Reynolds wanted to play this game, then she would play too. She would show him that she was not a little girl in need of his direction. She would show him exactly what his 'little albatross' was capable of. Mal Reynolds wouldn't know what hit him.


	7. River gets some help

River quietly crawled out of her hiding space and headed up the stairs to Inara's shuttle. She took a quick look around to make sure no one was around, specifically wayward Captains with misguided intentions. She knocked lightly on the door three times and waited for Inara to grant her entrance.

Inara heard the knock and opened the door, not surprised that it was River at the door. In fact, she had been expecting her ever since Mal left her shuttle earlier in the day. So, as was her fashion when people came to her for help, Inara beckoned River to enter and indicated that she should sit on the couch. She gracefully walked over to where she had a fresh pot of tea brewing, in preparation for this meeting, and knelt down, pouring both River and herself a cup of tea. Quietly, she handed River the cup and sat down beside her, taking a small sip as she waited for River to begin.

The Companion was struck by how similar River looked to how Mal looked earlier and thought it to be quite comical. The young pilot was frustrated, that much Inara could tell. She was also exasperated and Inara couldn't blame her for that. She was well aware that Mal had spent the entire morning and afternoon hunting for his little albatross in an attempt to 'woo' her in a courtly fashion. How River had managed to hide was beyond Inara's comprehension, although she gave the girl a lot of respect for managing to stay hidden among all the crates and illegal contraband. Inara tried to suppress a chuckle at the memory of Mal crawling around on his knees in the cargo bay looking for River in all the nooks and crannies. Unfortunately, she wasn't very successful at holding in her mirth and soon burst out laughing.

River looked over at the Companion who was currently in hysterics and tried to hold in her own laughter, which was currently threatening to spill over. However, River was not successful in reigning in her own amusement at the Captain's antics, and began laughing herself.

They made quite the pair, the crazy, assassin, fugitive pilot and the core-trained, Guild-certified, licensed Companion. They laughed together for what River estimated to be approximately 12.73 minutes before they finally calmed themselves enough to produce intelligible phrases. Inara wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and took River's hand in her own.

"My dear River," she began solemnly. "I do not envy you in the least!" At this, the Companion began to giggle once more and before they knew it, her and River laughed for another 4.56 minutes. Once River was sufficiently calm, she reached up a hand and brushed her hair out of her eyes, then looked over at Inara.

"He did look rather silly, didn't he?" she asked.

"Yes, he really did," Inara responded. River would have laughed again, but she found that her external obliques were aching from laughing a total of 17.29 minutes. Instead, she settled for a wide grin as she sipped at her tea.

"What should I do?" River asked after a moment. Inara took her other hand and positioned her body so she was directly facing the pilot.

"River," she replied. "You have to do what you feel is best. Nothing else matters. What do you want?" River sighed and flopped back on the couch, resting her hand on her stomach.

"I don't know," she answered. "I have fun with Badger. He understands me, in his own twisted fashion, and makes me feel like a real girl, not a puppet on a string. Mal, however, sees me as a little girl in need of his protection. He just doesn't see the logical end result of his actions."

"What is the logical end result, mei mei?" Inara asked. River looked over at the women beside her and paused for a moment as she contemplated the wisdom of revealing this particular future to her friend. In the end, she decided that if she truly wanted Inara's help, she would have to let her know all possible outcomes.

"Copulation with the possibility of commitment," she replied calmly as Inara took a sip of her tea. The result of her declaration caused Inara to choke on her tea, then cough and sputter. Inara quickly tried to regain her composure, but failed quite miserably.

"Mei mei, I don't think…" she began to say. River held up a hand to stop her.

"Captain may not have intended it to turn out this way, but it will," she interrupted. River had considered all variables, and except for the possible outcomes leading to death and destruction, she was quite certain that the most probable result of Mal's actions was some sort of engagement.

"The only way to prevent this outcome is to prevent the events that would need to occur from occurring," she continued. The Companion tried to make sense of her statement, but was unfortunately unable to follow the psychic genius' line of logic.

"What do you mean, River," Inara asked gently.

"Mal still sees me as a little girl and therefore has not thought of the consequences of courtship," River replied as though it should have been obvious. "If he sees that I am a woman, then he will think twice about courtship and he will see that I am capable of making my own decisions."

A look of understanding finally crossed Inara's face, although it was her personal opinion that things would turn out much differently than River imagined. She smiled at the thought of the Captain wooing the young girl and knew it wouldn't take much for the young woman to be wooed. River already had a healthy respect for the Captain and Inara knew they worked well together. Inara had long since given up any hope for a relationship with the man, and just wanted to see him happy. She smiled to herself at the secret knowledge that, out of everybody on the ship, River already made him very happy. Although this might not work out exactly the way River imagined, Inara would see to it that Mal saw her as the woman she was.

"Well, then," Inara responded after a moment. "Looks like we have some work to do. I think I have another dress that might fit you. By the way, did Badger like the other one I loaned to you?" River giggled and smiled as Inara rummaged through her trunks.

"You could say that," she said as a blush crept across her cheeks. Inara held out a swath of blue material for River to examine.

"River," she exclaimed. "Have you been holding out on me? You have to tell me what happened."

So River told Inara everything, including the part about the kisses she very much enjoyed.

Back in the cargo bay, Mal tried to occupy himself by lifting some of Jayne's arm weights. However, he was quite distracted by the sound of loud giggling emanating from Inara's shuttle. The Captain was certain River was hiding in there and had to contain the impulse to barge in, although he couldn't imagine what was so gorram funny that they had to laugh about it for twenty minutes.

"Captain," Jayne said from the sidelines. Mal turned and looked at his hired gun.

"Oh hey, Jayne," he replied, placing the weight on the floor. "Didn't hear you come in. Everything shiny?"

"Zoe told me to let you know we'll be landing on Beylix shortly..." Jayne stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared up at Inara's shuttle. Mal followed his stare to the shuttle and swallowed thickly at the sight that met him. Inara had just exited her shuttle followed closely by River.

_Beautiful_. Mal couldn't stop the thought from flitting through his mind. She was indeed, quite a sight to behold, dressed up in some sort of blue shiny material with her hair all piled up and her eyes shining. He watched as River made her way across the catwalk and toward the dining hall without a glance in his direction. As Inara walked by she gave a slight smirk, but Mal was too distracted by River to notice. He heard Jayne whistle lowly and turned to look at the mercenary.

"Jesu, Mal," he said with a leer. "Badger's one lucky hun dan. If'n I'da known she looked like that, well, let's just say the little man'd still be playing with junior."

"She's just a girl, Jayne," Mal replied in a dangerously low voice, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Hell, Mal," Jayne said as he straightened his gun holster. "That ain't no girl. That there's all sorts of woman." Mal frowned at his mercenary and glanced back up to where the his pilot had just been. Jayne smirked and bounded up the stairs toward the dining hall.

"Think it's time for dinner, Mal," he called back as he left. Mal pondered the double meaning of that sentence and took off after his merc.

_Great,_ he thought._ Now I have to save her from Badger AND Jayne._


	8. More Confusion

Simon sat on his bed in his room, lost deep in thought. He was thinking about the conversation he had with Mal earlier in the day. The man had just walked up to him and out of nowhere, stated his intentions to court River. At first, Simon had been extremely disturbed and a mite concerned, but now he was just plain confused. Sure, he understood the Captain's reasoning to why he wanted to court River. Mal wanted to protect River from Badger and felt that the only way to do so would be to divert her attentions to someone else, namely, himself. But the longer Simon thought about it, the more unsettled he became. Clearly, Mal hadn't thought his brilliant plan through to the end, otherwise, he wouldn't be so anxious to go through with it. Either that or he had thought it through to the logical end, which was a possibility the young doctor did not want to contemplate at the moment. So here he was, sitting alone in his room on his bed contemplating the various ways he could put an end to this plan before it imploded in on itself.

Simon was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of Kaylee sliding open the door. He looked up as she entered and sat down on the bed beside him, propping her legs up in his lap. She gave him one of her sweet smiles and brushed her fingers through his hair.

"What's wrong, bao bei?" Kaylee asked softly. Simon sighed quietly and looked over at her. She was so beautiful and sweet. He didn't know what he ever did to deserve someone as amazing as she was, but he was never going to give her up. She had his heart completely.

"This thing with River, I just don't know what to make of it," he replied, slightly frustrated. Kaylee furrowed her brow in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Simon closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed.

"I just don't understand why she chose to focus on Badger, of all people," he answered with some exasperation. Kaylee opened her mouth to provide some insight, but Simon continued talking. "And now, to top it off, Mal has come up with a not so brilliant plan to deter her attentions away from him."

"Is this brilliant plan the reason why the Captain was runnin' around after River all day?" Kaylee asked wryly as she moved over slightly, positioning herself in his lap. Simon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close. He rested his head on her shoulder and nodded.

"He has his idea that if he courts River, then she'll forget about Badger and move on," he replied. "And while I would like nothing more than for her to completely forget Badger, I just don't like the idea of Mal courting her. It can only end badly." Kaylee squealed and clapped her hands in excitement.

"That's not quite the reaction I was expecting," Simon said, furrowing his brow.

"Oh Simon, this'll be so shiny!" she exclaimed. "The Captain and River is perfect together!"

"What?" Simon had to keep himself from yelling at what he thought was a ridiculous idea, and he had heard some pretty ridiculous ideas so far today. "What in the 'verse would make you think something like that?" Kaylee sat up straighter and faced him with an excited look on her face.

"You want River to stop sexin up Badger," she began to explain, but was interrupted by Simon.

"Please do not use the words River, sexin, and Badger in the same sentence ever again," he said with a disgusted look. "Besides, I don't think they've gotten to that point yet, thank god."

"No, but the point is, they will eventually," Kaylee replied. "And if it's not with Badger, it'll be with someone else. River's grown into a pretty l'il thing, Simon. She's not nearly half as crazy as she was when she first came on board. Plus, she's more'n capable of handling herself. She's gonna have sex with someone. Would you rather it be a total stranger or the man you know and trust that has sheltered you from the Alliance for nearly two gorram years?" Simon buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"This must be what going crazy feels like," he said in a muffled voice. "I'd really rather she didn't sex anyone. But just because Mal is courting her, doesn't mean he's going to sleep with her." Kaylee giggled and crawled off his lap.

"Whatever you say, bao bei," she said pulling him up off the bed and into an embrace. "I think I smell dinner. What's say we go get some food then get on to some sexin of our own?" She winked suggestively and laughed when Simon blushed. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Or we could just skip dinner and get right down to dessert," he whispered in her ear. Kaylee was about to reply when Zoe knocked on the door and told them that dinner was ready. Sighing, Kaylee pulled out of Simon's embrace and headed to the dining hall, dragging Simon by the hand.

River sat calmly at the dinner table across from Inara. Mal sat to her left, forgoing his usual place at the head of the table, and Jayne sat to her right as usual. She was deep in conversation with the mercenary, discussing the appropriate amount of weaponry required for the take over of a small moon, and was therefore ignoring Mal. He was growing more frustrated by the moment since, in his opinion, Jayne had less than honorable intentions toward his young pilot. Gorram it! How in the 'verse was he supposed to woo the girl if she wouldn't even look at him? What did Jayne have to say that was so interesting anyways?

"Now, an 87 stielhandgranate is perfect for booby-trappin any places where the enemy might go hidin'," Jayne explained carefully. "See, it's got this nifty little feature where you pull it, then leave it be. So long as it's resting safe and sound, there's no problem. But the minute anyone happens by and disturbs this little sucker, BOOM!"

Mal supposed he was fortunate enough that his hired gunhand was knowledgeable in all things destructive, however, he found himself wishing his pilot was a little less interested in the same things. Sure, it was convenient that the girl knew how to fire a gun and had saved his pi gu many times, but the less she had to bond with Jayne over, the better it was in his opinion. River's laughter drew him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw River tilt her head back, her smile wide at something Jayne had just said, and her eyes happy. She was positively glowing and it was all directed toward Jayne. Mal pushed his chair back away from the table and stormed out of the dining room.

"I'm gonna go check on our flight path," he muttered as he stormed out, leaving a confused crew in his wake.

Mal walked up to the bridge and sat down in the pilot's seat. River's seat. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him. River was a fine looking girl, to be sure, but it wasn't like he felt anything for her besides a certain amount of captainly affection. Just like what he felt for Kaylee. He was just looking out for her and making sure she didn't get into any trouble. It was just that Badger wasn't good enough for her, or anyone else. And Jayne certainly wasn't the best pick either. In fact, Mal didn't think there was anyone in the 'verse good enough for his little albatross. She was too special for most men. That's why he had to court her. Keep her away for all the scumbags in the universe that would try to take advantage of her. He would keep her safe.

"What was that all about, sir?" Mal looked up as Zoe walked onto the bridge and sat down across from him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, fiddling around with a few buttons on the console in front of him.

"Storming out of the dining hall like a jealous lover," Zoe replied.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Zoe," Mal answered and stared at her with a challenging look on his face. Zoe just stared back with a raised eyebrow.

"With all due respect, Captain, I think you do," she said calmly. "River's a sweet girl and she was bound to catch someone's attention sooner or later. You can't ignore her, then get jealous when someone else takes notice. You have to let her be and let her figure things out for herself. She'll come around son enough." Mal swiveled his chair around to face her and put on his sternest 'Captain's face'.

"Zoe, I really don't like what you're getting at here so I'd appreciate it if you just left this thing alone," he replied. Zoe nodded and stood to leave.

"My mistake, sir," she said. "I'll tell the crew we land on Persephone in an hour."

"See that you do," he replied. Mal watched as Zoe turned and walked off his bridge before he leaned back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest. Zoe's words were making him think, but then again, they always did. The thing was, Mal wasn't too sure he liked where his thoughts were going. Sighing, he turned his attention back to the console to prepare for another stellar landing.


	9. River Sighs

River sighed as laid on her back against the cool metal grating of the catwalk in the cargo bay and stared up at the ceiling, pretending she was watching the stars. She supposed she could go the bridge and really watch the stars, instead of just imagining them, but the bridge was where Mal was. Since River was avoiding Mal like the plague in one of Simon's medical textbooks that ravished Earth-that-was, she decided to forgo reality and settle for imagination. Unfortunately, her imagination wasn't enough to get her mind off of the pressing issue at hand.

Sighing again, River sat up and swung her legs over to the side of the catwalk, fingering the blue silk of her borrowed dress. Inara had told her the blue would make her eyes shine in a way that Mal wouldn't be able to help but notice. While River knew it was a physiological impossibility for her eyes to shine any brighter than they already did, she had developed the hope that perhaps the Captain would take notice and she wouldn't have to deal with his silly ideas concerning courtship. Of course, he had to pretend he didn't notice her, which threw a wrench the size of Kaylee's hydraspanner into her plans. He had sat beside her at the dinner table and didn't even try to talk to her intelligently which forced her to engage in conversation with Jayne. Then, he just abruptly left to check their course, which River knew was correct because she herself had set it. River tried not to think about the stab of disappointment that shot through her when he left. It was irrational and illogical, after all, and it made her quite confused. There was absolutely no reason why she should be disappointed. If anything, she should be happy he wasn't paying her any extra attention. Except for the fact that her plan wouldn't work if he didn't notice her. River sat up straighter and smiled.

Of course! She thought to herself. That must be why she's disappointed. Her entire plan hinged on the basis that Mal had to notice her as a woman capable of making her own decisions and that by doing so he would realize it was a mistake to try court her away from Badger or any other man. So of course it was only natural that she would feel slightly upset that her plan wasn't working as imagined. All it meant was that she needed to try harder. She needed to make him see, make him understand. River sighed again as she realized this meant she could no longer avoid her Captain. It appeared as though a direct face to face conversation was warranted. With a look of determination that would have scared away a horde of Reavers, River stood and headed toward the bridge.

Mal sat in the pilot's chair and decided he would no longer refer to the pilot's chair as 'River's chair'. Nor would he refer to River as 'his pilot'. From now on she would simply be 'the pilot', and this chair that he was sitting in would simply be 'the pilot's'. That way he would give up any feelings of ownership that may or may not be directed to the young girl and concentrate on what was important, which was certainly not the burgeoning interest between his mercenary and his pilot. The pilot. The pilot of his ship. His pilot. Gorram it!

Mal gave a frustrated sigh and leaned back in the chair. He idly picked up one of the plastic dinosaurs that still took a place of honor on the console and turned it over in his hands, thinking on the words Zoe had said to him earlier. Was he really jealous? He didn't think so. Jealousy would imply some feelings on his part. Feelings he had no business having. Those feelings certainly didn't exist.

"Mal," a quiet voice interrupted his thoughts. Startled, he looked up and saw River standing by the door looking unsure of herself. Mal quickly put the dinosaur back onto the console , not noticing when it fell to the ground.

"River," he said as he stood to meet her. Suddenly, he felt very nervous, which didn't make any sense at all. He didn't have anything to be nervous about. Swallowing, he tried to regain some of his confidence.

"River," he repeated in what he hoped was a more confident tone. "What can I do for you?" River shuffled her feet nervously and fingered the silky material of her dress.

"Wanted to speak with you, Captain," she replied, looking away slightly. River didn't understand the fluttering in her stomach that occurred when he spoke her name. Nor did she understand why she was now so hesitant to say what she had come here to say. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and looked up into his eyes. He had really blue eyes. Why had she never noticed before?

Focus, she told herself. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts before she looked up at him again.

"River, are you okay?" Mal took a step toward her and touched her lightly on the arm. River looked up at him and saw the concern etched across his face.

"Do you need me to go get the doc or anything?" he continued. River was acutely aware of his proximity and tried to take a step back. She was, however, blocked by the door, which she had closed previously in an effort to gain some privacy for this heart to heart chat.

"No," she said forcefully, stepping around him. "Needed to talk to you in private." River walked over and sat in the pilot's chair.

"What do you need to say, l'il albatross," Mal said as he sat in the chair across from her. River sighed, unsure of how to begin. She decided that being forthright was probably the best approach for a desirable outcome.

"Misguided emotional attachment indicates an unwillingness to view the subject through an objective lens and therefore allow her to engage in independent experimentation. It simply will not do," she stated with an air of finality. Pleased with herself, she stood and turned to leave, certain that Mal understood her meaning. Mal, however, did not understand anything and reached out to grab her arm, preventing her exit.

"Come again?" he said. River looked down at his hand touching her arm and tried to quell feelings that threatened to bubble to the surface.

"You want to court me," River said, focusing on the situation at hand. Mal nodded and loosened his grip slightly.

"You want to court me to prevent me from becoming emotionally attached to Badger," she continued. Mal loosened his grip again, but didn't let go.

"Badger ain't the kinda fella you want to get emotionally attached to, albatross," he said, rubbing his thumb lightly across her arm. River tried in vain to suppress a shiver.

"And Jayne?" she asked quietly. Mal took a step closer and moved his hand from her arm down to her hand. He held her fingers lightly and shook his head.

"Jayne's not the kinda man you wanna get emotionally attached to neither," he said looking down at her. River looked up and stared in his eyes and saw something she had never seen before. For the first time, River was certain that her Captain saw her as a woman.

River paused before answering. She didn't want to answer, but she had to. He had to know she was capable. Capable of being a woman. Of making her own decisions. So as much as she didn't want to, as much as her body wanted to melt into Mal's and as much as she wanted to stare into his eyes forever, she had to do what she set out to do.

"What gives you the right to decide that for me?" she asked. Mal abruptly let go of her hand and took a step back as though he had been burned. He watched silently as she turned and walked off the bridge.

River hurried off the bridge as fast as she could go. A part of her wished Mal would follow after her, but the other part of her knew he wouldn't and for that she was thankful. Right now, all she needed was space and time away from him. She had come close to losing control of the situation and that just wouldn't do. She walked quickly toward cargo bay, intent on getting as far away from the bridge as possible. As she drew closer, she heard people arguing.

"Captain will be out in a minute so's I think you can just wait outside the ship," it was Zoe speaking, and rather forcefully too. River rounded the corner and looked down from the catwalk.

"Well now, it's a good thin' I ain't lookin' fo' the Cap'n now, issit?" River's eyes widened at the sight before her. Badger was standing in the middle of the cargo bay, toe to toe with Zoe, gripping a small bouquet of yellow flowers. She briefly considered hiding before he saw her. Unfortunately, he chose that moment to look up and spot her.

"Hallo there luv," he said with a quirky smile and a tip of his hat. "Wanna take a turn out wi' me?" He cocked his head and held up the flowers in her direction. Despite herself, River couldn't help but smile. She made her way down into the main cargo hold and accepted both his flowers and his outstretched arm.

"Zoe, tell the Captain I'll be back in a few hours," River told the first mate. Zoe just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"River, you sure about this?" she asked. River nodded and smiled, then walked off the ramp arm in arm with Badger.


	10. Anger and Frustration

River walked arm in arm with Badger through the marketplace on the main street, enjoying the sights and sounds of the vendors selling their wares. She listened as Badger regaled her with the history of this bustling town and how he came to be situated here. Smiling at his enthusiasm, she brought the yellow flowers she was still carrying up to her face and breathed in deeply.

"Where did you get fresh flowers," she asked suddenly, interrupting his story. Badger looked over at her and gave her a cocky grin.

"Man's gotta have some secrets, now don' 'e luv," he replied with a wink as he took her hand. They continued walking in comfortable silence, taking in the bustle of activity around them. Badger pulled River over to a stall selling various pieces of jewelry and picked up a necklace for her inspection. She fingered the chain lightly.

"It's lovely," she said, looking over at Badger. He smiled at her and placed a few credits on the table for the vendor.

"It's yours then," he said with a grin. River turned around and allowed Badger to fasten the pretty piece around her neck. She closed her eyes as his fingers lingered a second too long on her skin. She braced herself for a shiver or a flutter, but nothing came. Instead, she was left wishing it were Mal who had bought her the shiny chain.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she turned around to face him. She reached up and touched the tear drop pendant hanging on her chest.

"But why did you get it?" she asked after a moment. Badger smiled down at her, not a cheeky grin or a cocky smirk, but a genuine caring smile.

"A gentleman does stuff like that for the girl 'e's courtin'," he replied as he softly stroked the side of her face. River sighed and pulled away.

"What's wrong, luv," Badger asked with a touch of concern. River just sighed again and began walking back in the direction of the ship. Badger quickly reached out a hand and grabbed her arm, stopping her progress.

"'Ere now luv," he said, pulling her close. "Why don't you tell 'ole Bager what's gone and got you bothered? Was it something I said?"

River looked down at the hand holding her arm and was struck by the similarity of this scene to the one that had occurred on the bridge earlier that day. She wrenched her arm free and began walking away again.

"Talk, talk, talk," she huffed loudly, earning a few stares from people passing by on the streets. "Everyone talks about courtship, asks my brother for permission, devises schemes and plans. But no one asks me what I want! No one asks if I want to be courted. Maybe I don't want to be courted. Maybe I think courtship is an archaic and outdated custom used to subvert women. Or maybe I don't know what I want."

Badger had to run to keep up with River.

"Now hold on there, luv," he said as he reached out and grabbed her arm again. River stopped and looked at him, folding her arms across her chest.

"From the sounds of it, I'm not the first person to use the term 'courtship', now am I?" Badger asked. River shook her head and looked away.

"Well then, I'm not gonna go guessing who else may have said it," Badger said after a moment, releasing her arm. "You're a pretty l'il thing, you know that, right? You catch people's eye. Draw 'em in. Make 'em take an interest. And I've definitely taken an interest. Can't hide that from you so I won't even botha' tryin'." Badger paused and took her hand, looking deep into her eyes.

"So, River, luv, will you step out wi' me? Let me court you, at least until you figure things out?" he asked. River gave a little nod as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," she said with a smile. "I should have warned you I was crazy." Badger chuckled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Naw," he said, leading her in the direction away from the ship. "You're a woman. You're allowed to be crazy." River laughed and gave him a playful punch as they walked.

"You know, you didn't have to carry those flowers all through town with you, luv," he said as walked toward his building. River just smiled and brought the bouquet up to her nose for a smell.

"First time someone's ever gotten me flowers," she replied. "In fact, this particular species traditionally represents…" River stopped talking and stood still. She cocked her head to the side as though she was listening to something.

"Luv," Badger looked at her in concern. "What is it luv?" River just shook her head, unsure of what she was picking up on, if indeed it was anything.

"I just thought I heard something," she replied after a moment. "It's nothing." River continued to look around warily. They had left the bustling street and were headed down a more secluded section of the city on the way to Badger's 'office'. Suddenly, three men stepped out from the shadows of the buildings and pointed their guns at the couple. River dropped her flowers and turned to Badger.

"Get Mal," she said with an air of urgency. Badger opened his mouth to argue, but something told him he better do just as he was told. He turned quickly and high tailed it down the street toward the ship. Surprisingly, none of the men fired at him or tried to pursue. He looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the three men overtake River.

"Aw bollocks," he said, turning around and running back to where River was being attacked.

"No, run," River yelled when she saw him turn around. Badger threw a punch at one of the men holding her down.

"Not letting you fight alone, luv," he said, blocking another punch. Unfortunately for Badger, the men were too quick. One, two, three blows, and his head hit the hard ground below. He saw the men drag River away, and then he blacked out.

Back on the ship, Zoe sat at the dining table, sipping from a cup of bitter black coffee. She was thinking hard about everything that had been happening on the ship and decided she needed more information. Standing up, she took one last sip from her cup, then headed out of the dining hall in the direction of Inara's shuttle.

Inara sat in her shuttle, sipping a cup of herbal tea, contemplating the mess that River and Mal were getting themselves into. She doubted they even realized what was happening between them. They were so oblivious and yet so focused. In truth, they were very much alike and Inara thought they were well-suited to each other. She was troubled, however, by River's behavior. It didn't surprise her that Mal was being so boorish and pig-headed, charging ahead with his foolish plan without much thought to the consequences. River, however, was supposed to be a genius. Inara would have thought she would have seen where her plan was headed, since it was apparently clear enough to everyone else. Yet, she had a misguided notion that making the Captain see her as woman would make him stop pursuing her, when in fact, it would do the opposite.

Inara was interrupted from her thoughts by a sharp rap. She stood and opened her door, allowing the first mate to come in.

"I'm not surprised to see you," Inara said with a smile. "Please, sit down, Zoe. Can I offer you some tea?" Zoe shook her head as she sat and regarded the Companion.

"I suppose you know why I'm here then, 'Nara," she said after a moment. Inara nodded her head and sat down next to the formidable woman.

"I can guess that it has something to do with the way River and Mal are acting," she replied.

"Care to shed some light on what exactly is happening on this ship?" Zoe asked. "I mean, I know Mal was all het up about River going on the town with Badger. I weren't exactly pleased about it neither, but she's a grown woman. Way I see it, she can pilot the ship, she can go out on a date. But now I'm hearing talk of courtship, and all of a sudden Mal's acting all jealous-like. Not to mention the way River's been dressing. Now I know you had something to do with that." Zoe paused to allow Inara to answer.

"Well," Inara began slowly. "It's a long story. A few weeks ago, Mal came to me asking me advice about River. I suggested River's interest in Badger might be derived from the fact that she's a young woman exploring her sexuality and there aren't many options open to her. Badger showed interest, she responded. It's natural." Zoe nodded in understanding.

"I can see how that would be," she replied.

"Well, then Mal took that to mean that if River had another available option, she might not be so quick to step out with Badger," Inara continued. "So he got it into his mind that he should court her. Express an interest in her to draw her away from, what he feels, is a man unworthy of her."

"That's not the way Mal works, 'Nara," Zoe interrupted. "Sounds to me like he was trying to find an excuse and this fit perfectly."

"I agree," Inara replied. "Although, I don't think he would be so quick as to admit it. He might not have even known that's what he was doing at the time. Then River came to me a short while later. She was frustrated, upset, and confused. We talked for a while, then she came to the conclusion that if Mal saw her as a woman, he would see her as capable of making her own choices. And the one way she could accomplish that would be to dress like a lady." Zoe suppressed a chuckle.

"Doesn't she see that it's going to backfire?" she asked with a smile. "I mean, if Mal has this attraction, prettying herself up is just gonna make him want her more."

"Well, this is the first time River's made decisions based on her emotions," Inara replied with a smile. "She might be psychic, but she's still a woman, and an emotional one at that. She's bound to make a mistake." Zoe stood to leave.

"Well, this clears up a few things," she said as she headed to the door. "I better go make sure Mal doesn't shoot anyone when he find out River went off with Badger again. Just one more thing, Inara. Doesn't it bother you? I mean, considering your history with Mal…" Inara held up her hand to interrupt

"We have a past, not a present," she stated. "I made peace with that a while ago." Zoe nodded and opened the door, nearly bumping into Mal, who was about to barge in.

"Oh hey Zoe, good you're here," he said hurriedly as he stood by the doorway. "Have either of you two seen River? I need to talk to her."

"She went off with Badger near an hour ago, sir," Zoe replied looking him in the eyes, daring him to get angry with her. Mal tried to keep his frustration contained, but was unsuccessful and punched the bulkhead beside him. Inara jumped back startled, but Zoe stood firm, stoic and resolved as usual.

"You just let her go off with that rat?" he said to Zoe. Zoe nodded in affirmative.

"Yes sir, I did," she replied.

"Well, do you know which way they went?" he asked.

"In the direction of his building, sir," Zoe answered. "But I'm sure she'll be back soon enough." Mal shook his head and headed down the catwalk, into the main cargo bay.

"This can't wait," he stated as he walked. Zoe walked closely behind him, anxious to see what he was about to do. Mal punched in the code to lower the ramp in the cargo bay and stalked out into the busy docks, followed by Zoe.

"You don't have to babysit me, Zoe," he said, taking long strides in the direction of Badger's building.

"With all due respect, sir, someone has to make sure you don't get shot," she replied.


	11. Missing Pilot

Mal walked quickly down the center street, Zoe followed closely behind rushing to keep up. With a look of determination, Mal swiftly headed in the direction of Badger's so-called "office" in order to locate his wayward pilot. He was steaming. He couldn't understand why River had again gone off with Badger. He thought he had made his opinion on this matter quite clear. He understood she wanted to be treated as a woman, but didn't she see that Badger was a psychotic lowlife animal who didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as her? As far as Mal was concerned, Badger was no good for River and it made his blood boil to think that they were together.

Mal and Zoe rounded the corner, turning off the main street into a secluded alleyway and stopped short when they saw an unconscious Badger lying face down on the sidewalk. While Mal quickly searched the surrounding area for any sign of River, Zoe rushed over and knelt down beside the unresponsive man, quickly checking his pulse.

"He's alive," she said as she hefted his deadweight. "But he's badly hurt. Help me carry him back to the ship." Mal ignored her and continued to look around the deserted side street.

"River could be around here somewhere," he said, near frantic. Zoe shook her head and continued lifting Badger into an upright position.

"More than not, sir," she said with a grunt. "Chances are, she'll head back to the ship if she's conscious and able. If not, well then our best bet lies with finding out what Badger knows."

With a look of reluctance, Mal knelt down and helped Zoe lift the little man up. Together, they dragged his near lifeless and badly beaten body through the streets and back to the ship.

Jayne was lifting weights in the cargo bay when Mal and Zoe rushed in, dragging Badger between them. He stopped and stared as they carried the body in and dropped it on the floor, exhausted from the effort required to carry the man so far.

"Jayne, stop staring and come help us carry him," Mal ordered. Jayne dropped his dumbbells and rushed over to where they were, taking over Zoe's spot. He quickly glanced behind them, expecting to see River and was surprised when she wasn't in sight.

"Where's moonbrain?" he asked with concern. Mal shook his head and looked serious as he helped Jayne carrying Badger out of the cargo bay and toward the infirmary.

"Don't know, but we aim to find out," Zoe replied, walking over to the intercom.

"Doc, you have a patient," she said calmly into the mouthpiece, glancing in Mal's direction. "And this time it ain't the captain."

Jayne and Mal dragged Badger into the infirmary and deposited him roughly on the table. Simon followed closely behind, having heard Zoe's announcement over the intercom, and rushed over to examine Badger.

"He's suffered repeated blows to the side of his head," he said without looking up at the gathered crew. "It's likely he'll be unconscious for a while, but he's stable. I'll need to monitor him closely for the next few hours to make sure there's no complications."

"Let me know as soon as he's awake, doc," Mal said as he turned to exit. Simon nodded before looking up at the gathered crew. A look of worry crossed his face when he noticed River wasn't there.

"Where's River," he asked. Mal opened his mouth to reply, but Zoe beat him to it.

"We don't rightly know, doc," she answered. "She went off with Badger not too long ago, which is why we're hoping you can fix him quickly. We're hoping he knows something or saw something that could help us find her."

Simon's look of worry turned into a glare, directed toward Mal, who stared right back.

"We can talk about this later, doc," he stated. "Right now, get that man awake and talking." Mal turned his back on Simon and walked out of the infirmary, not stopping until he reached the bridge. Sighing, he collapsed in the pilot chair and buried his face in his hands. He was lost deep in thought when he Jayne lumbered into the cockpit. Mal glanced up as the giant mercenary sat in the co-pilot's seat.

"I was never gonna get serious 'bout crazy," Jayne said after an awkward moment of silence. Mal looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He didn't answer, so Jayne continued speaking.

"I mean, she's grown up into a pretty l'il lady, but I got rules too, ya know, cap'n," he continued, avoiding Mal's appraising gaze. "One of them rules being, you don't touch the capn's woman. Look all ya want, but don't do more'n that. I never woulda done nothing, Mal, I swear."

"She ain't my woman, Jayne," Mal replied, regarding him evenly. Jayne raised an eyebrow and returned Mal's stare.

"She ain't?" he asked, clearly confused. "But I thought you 'n her, ya know, sumthin'." Mal shook his head, propping his feet up on the console.

"So if'n ya ain't, that means Crazy's free. 'N my rule don't apply," Jayne mused, half to himself. Mal sat up straighter as he realized where the mercenary's thoughts were headed.

"That don't mean you can make a move, Jayne," he said quickly with a touch of jealousy. "She might not be mine, but she's definitely ain't yours neither."

Mal stood and left the bridge, leaving behind a speechless Jayne. His expression slowly changed from one of confusion to a slight smirk full.

"Ain't the cap'ns woman, my ass," Jayne said to no one in particular.


	12. Well isn't this grand

Badger woke up exactly three hours and thirty-seven minutes after Mal and Zoe dragged his sorry pi gu back to Serenity. He blinked twice and was trying to adjust to the bright light shining into his eyes when Mal's slightly imposing silhouette suddenly loomed overhead.

"Where's my pilot, you worthless pile of go se," Mal questioned, leaning over the semi-conscious man. Badger struggled to sit up before he collapsed back on the table and groaned. Rubbing his face with his hands he tried to make the room stop spinning.

"Gorram it," he said after a moment. "What the gorram hell didya do ta me? My 'eads spinnin' somethin' fierce."

Badger looked up and focused on Mal, who had begun to pace the room. Focusing on one thing seemed to keep the room around him steady, so he was able to gradually pull himself into a sitting position. It didn't, however, do anything to keep his head from pounding, so he cradled it carefully between his hands.

"Where's River," Mal asked again. Badger shot him a pained look and closed his eyes, thinking hard on the events that had just occurred.

"You brought me back to your ship, eh?" he said after a moment of silence. "That was mighty nice o' ya." Mal was growing more and more frustrated with each passing second and Badger's inability to answer a simple question made him angry. He reached down and grabbed the lapel of Badger's jacket, dragging him into an upright position.

"Where the gorram hell is my pilot, Badger?" Mal yelled. "Tell me now and I won't space ya!"

"We ain't in space," Badger replied. "Or if we are, you're a dumber man then I thought! As for River, I dunno where 'xactly she is. We was walking along, all nice and like, mindin' our own biz'ness when's these three blokes jump out at us. They knocked me down quick and dragged River off. Didn't see where's they took 'cos I was too unconscious ta follow." Badger shrugged Mal off and sat back down on the table. Mal pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Did you catch a good look at them?" he asked in a tired voice. Even on a good day, Mal hated dealing with Badger. On a bad day, it was ten times worse. In Mal's opinion, this day was ten times worse than a bad day. Badger looked up at Mal, standing tall above him, and nodded.

"They was Higgin's men. I did a deal wi' him not too long back that din't work out 'xactly as planned. Way I figure, e's lookin' for a bit o' revenge in the form of kidnapping. Might ask for a ransom or some other such nonsense," Badger replied, sitting up a little straighter. The room was no longer spinning and he could see straight, which was a definite improvement.

"Well, where can we find Higgins?" Mal asked in a huff as he continued to pace the room.

"He takes up residence by the freight docks," Badger answered. "'Spect we'd be able to find 'im there 'round this time." Mal gave a curt nod and walked quickly out of the infirmary. When he realized that Badger hadn't followed, he turned around and stormed back in, grabbed Badger by the collar, and dragged him out in the direction of the cargo bay.

"Zoe," he yelled as he walked, Badger stumbling along behind him. "Prep the mule! We're going after River!"

Mal finally let go of Badger's collar as they entered the cargo bay, shoving him the direction of the mule. Zoe, who was geared up and ready to go, met them by the ramp which was open to the bustling docks below. She cast a distrustful eye at Badger and placed a hand on her gun in warning, causing Badger to shiver slightly in fear and trepidation.

"We know where River is, sir?" Zoe asked as they climbed onto the mule. Mal nodded before reaching down and dragging Badger up into the backseat.

"We have a lead which I plan on pursuing," he replied with a nod as he started the mule's engine. He was about to ride out when bounded into the cargo bay and jumped into backseat. He took a seat beside the quivering little man and cradled Vera in his arms. Badger was struck by how scary the sight was.

"Jayne, we don't need you on this one," Mal said, casting a look at his scary looking mercenary. Jayne slipped on a pair of sunglasses and grinned.

"Think I'd go let you rescue Crazy all by yourself, cap," he replied, looking cocky. "Way I see it, if these guys can capture her all by themselves, then you need all the help you can get." Mal sighed and shook his head, then revved up the mule and drove it out into the chaotic crowd.

Badger directed Mal to the hideout of the man known as 'Higgins', all the while praying that River was there, since he didn't want to face the wrath of an angry captain and his sidekicks. The mule pulled up to a ratty rundown old building stuck at the end of a deserted alleyway. It looked abandoned and decrepit, and, in Jayne's opinion, slightly haunted. Nevertheless, apparently this was the place Higgin's hid out.

Mal turned off the mule's engine and hopped down, unholstering his gun and turning off the safety. Zoe, Jayne, and Badger hopped down after Mal and followed him into the building. Guns blazing, Mal kicked open the door, expecting to engage in some thrilling heroics resulting in the rescue of his l'il albatross.

What he didn't expect to find was River Tam sitting across from the man Higgins discussing the finer points of weaponry mechanics.


	13. Confessions

River was quite cognizant of the fact that three very large, very muscular type men were dragging her down the street toward what appeared to be an old abandoned building. She was also quite cognizant of the fact that these three men did not have any malicious intent toward her person, but rather were acting upon the orders of another, yet unseen, gentleman. A quick perusal of their minds revealed some interesting thoughts.

_Just one more job and I'll have enough to buy my baby girl that dollhouse she's been eyeing._

_I hope Beatrice makes that meat pie I love._

_The quantum groupGL __H__ij__) with hyperbolic complex multiparameter is isomorphic to a direct product of two quantum groupsGL(X; q __ij __) and GL(Y; r __ij __) with ordinary multiparameter_.

River raised an eyebrow at that last thought and was about to refute that particular quantum assumption, when she was dragged inside the old building that had been steadily looming closer. A quick survey of the room she was brought into revealed a vast array of weaponry displayed prominently in an attempt to incite fear into the souls of all who were brought here. For River, it incited a sort of bizarre lust. At the far end of the room was a desk, behind which sat a man wearing sunglasses. River supposed he thought it made him look intimidating and mysterious, however, she thought it just made him look silly, so she told him so. The man behind the desk just chuckled, reaching up to remove them.

"Yes, I suppose they do look quite silly, now don't they," he said in a thick New Ireland brogue. He motioned for his guards to let her go, then indicated the seat across from him.

"Please," he continued. "Have a seat."

River shrugged the guards off, then walked over and sat down gracefully, still eyeing this man's vast collection of weapons.

"So I suppose your wondering why I snatched you." River was vaguely aware that the man was still speaking so she nodded slightly. That particular piece hanging on the wall behind his desk looked like a Rembrandt 451.

"Well," he continued. "As it so happens, I recently hired that hun dan Badger to perform a simple job for me. All he had to do was act as the middle man, as usual. But he somehow managed to mess it up and lose a fair amount of my pocket change. Now, I'm inclined to believe it's because a lovely woman, such as you, is distracting him. I was meaning to have a word with the man, but unfortunately, it seems as though this is a case of you being in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, here we are. My men snatched you instead. So what do you suppose we do about this?"

River peered over the man's shoulder and carefully examined the rare Rembrandt.

"You modified it," she stated as she stood and walked behind his desk. She reached out a hand and lightly touched the cool barrel of the gun. Tapping it gently, she continued to speak.

"This isn't the original barrel," she said, looking at the man. "You replaced it with a handmade version. Lighter metal. Less hot when fired. But strong. Will last long after it's wielder is dead."

The man with the lovely accent rose from his chair and stood beside her. He stood nearly a full head taller than her.

"Not many people notice," he replied, staring down at her. River glanced up, a slight smile crossing her face.

"Think your display is all for show," she answered. "Don't realize you can take apart and put back together every weapon in this room. Don't realize that they would be dead before they could load their guns." The man chuckled at her statement.

"You are something else," he said as he sat back down. "No wonder Badger likes you. What other interesting thoughts do you have floating around that pretty little brain of yours?"

River glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow and gave a very unladylike snort. She then proceeded to sit back down and tell the man exactly why Badger liked her and how her captain was being a boob about it. The man listened intently, interjecting his own thoughts and comments concerning Badger's nature (he was a weasel) and the captain's reaction (he was obviously in love with her). Somewhere along the line, the man made an interesting comparison between the minds of men and guns. Everything has its place. Take one piece out and it won't work anymore. Replace it with a part that doesn't belong and it goes haywire. But every once in a while, you can add a modification of your own, and it you're gentle and know what you're doing, it'll run smoother.

So it was, they were sitting there deep in conversation when Mal came bursting through the doors, guns blazing, followed closely by Zoe and Jayne, who also had guns blazing. Badger was trailing behind, no gun, but still looking quite brave despite the circumstances.

River looked up in surprise. She had no idea she had been in this man's warehouse for so long, but a quick glance at the setting sun outside indicated it had been several hours at least.

"Let 'er go, Higgins," Badger said, quite bravely in River's opinion. He stepped toward River but was cut off by Mal.

"I can handle this, Badger," Mal interrupted as he shoved him aside and brandished his gun in a menacing manner.

"Let her go, Higgins," he stated with authority. River rolled her eyes and turned toward the man behind the desk, now known to her as Higgins.

"Do you see what I have to put up with," she stated, quite exasperated with the situation in general. Higgins nodded sympathetically and patted her shoulder.

"Aye, I can see how it would be frustrating," he replied, eyeing the men carefully. He gave a slight nod, indicating to his guards to stand down, but be ready for action. Then he gave River a quick wink. "You know, I do have an opening for a weapons expert, if you didn't want to be bothered with these folks anymore."

River looked at Higgins and appeared to be carefully considering his offer.

"You'd be on Persephone more," Badger stated, looking quite pleased. River smiled at him and Mal looked panicked and jealous. It was _that_ smile. The one he always wished was for him and him alone. She was giving Badger that smile.

"No," he interrupted. River looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You can't stay," he continued. River stood and faced him, arms folded across her chest.

"Why not?" she replied. "It's my choice."

_Because I can't find another pilot as good as you._

_Because Kaylee would miss you._

_Because the doc would be lost without you._

_Because you belong on Serenity._

A million and one reasons as to why River shouldn't leave jumped through Mal's mind. But he could only express one.

"Because I love you."

A/N: equation taken from: Wu Ya-Bo and Zhong Zai-Zhe (1995). Hyperbolic complex Yang-Baxter equation and hyperbolic complex multiparametric quantum groups. _International Journal of Theoretical Physics. _34(11). Don't ask. It's better not to.


	14. Happy Endings

The words echoed through the room, causing a deafening silence. River listened closely for the proverbial pin to drop. Higgins smiled widely. Having slightly voyeuristic tendencies, he was thoroughly enjoying this. It was rare that anything this amusing ever happened, and even more rare that it involved Badger. He watched with grim satisfaction as the scene unfolded before him.

Badger stared at Mal, his mouth hanging open like a flytrap. Zoe, who usually a picture of cool calm, had difficulty schooling her face into its usual stoicism and as for the large, intimidating mercenary, he nearly dropped his gun at Mal's admission. Meanwhile, River simply stared at her Captain, her feet rooted to the floor and her eyes unblinking.

Mal shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, holding his gun loosely at his side. He hadn't meant to say the words, but seeing the look on River's face and knowing she was considering taking Higgins up on his offer was too much for him to handle. He knew that he was an idiot. He knew he had been blind, too. He hadn't seen what had been staring him in the face, literally and figuratively, for the past few months now. It was only when he was faced with losing her that the gravity of the situation sunk in. He didn't want her to see Badger because he couldn't stand the thought of her with another man. He didn't want her to take the job with Higgins because he didn't want to fly _Serenity_ without her. He rubbed his eyes with the hand not holding his gun, then looked up at River with a beseeching look in his eyes.

"Damn it, River," he said as he moved toward her. "I love you."

"You do?" she replied, as her feet suddenly decided to move of their own volition toward him. Badger looked over at them sharply.

"Ya do?" he echoed, looking back and froth from River to Mal. He watched as Mal and River moved closer together, his question largely ignored. River stared up at her Captain, doe eyed and innocent. Mal nodded silently and took her hands.

"Cap'n," Zoe leaned forward and interrupted. Mal shot her an annoyed glare.

"Have you forgotten that this man snatched River," she continued, ignoring his glare. "Not to mention the fact that hanging on his walls are an arsenal that could rival one on any military installation."

"Gotta agree with Zoe, here, Cap'n," Jayne stated, shifting the weight of his gun in his hands. "Havin' all the guns starin' down at me's makin' me a mite nervous." Mal huffed and turned to his second in command and his merc.

"Can't ya'll see I'm havin' a moment here?" he replied tersely, looking back at them. The man Higgins laughed loudly and stood up from behind his desk. He walked steadily toward the group of honest and dishonest thieves, stopping beside Mal and River.

"As sweet as this scene is, it's gettin on my nerves," Higgins said. River turned and glared up at the tall Irishman.

"What?" he asked with a smirk. "You didn't actually think I'd just let you kiss and walk outta here, did you? Not much fun that way, is it, love? Besides, Badger here still owes me a debt."

Higgins motioned for his guards to train their weapons on the group. Five more armed men emerged from the shadows and quickly relieved Mal, Jayne, and Zoe of their cumbersome and somewhat deadly firearms.

"So here's the deal, Badger," Higgins turned and walked over to the little man who standing sullenly off to the side. "You are going to repay your debt. Either my man, Tulloch, puts a bullet between your eyes or he puts one between River's. Your choice."

Badger looked frantically between the heavily armed and imposing guard known as Tulloch, and the little slip of the girl known as River, whom he had come to care about in the past few months. River stared at him, knowing that he had no idea the true extent of what she was capable of. He didn't know she could fight them off, that she could dodge a bullet. All he knew was that it was his life or her life.

Badger hesitated a moment too long.

Higgins gave a slight nod and Tulloch aimed his gun at River and pulled the trigger. She barely heard the sound of the shot when she hit the floor.

Grunting, River pushed the heavy weight of Mal from off her body rolled him onto his back. She knelt down beside him, trying to find where the bullet had entered. Zoe rushed over and knelt beside her, ripping open his shirt to reveal that the bullet had pierced his left shoulder, inches from his heart. Quickly, she ripped off a section of his shirt and pressed it against the bleeding wound. She placed River's hands on top of the dressing.

"Press down firmly, River," she said calmly then turned to Jayne. "Jayne, radio in to Simon. Then I need your help getting Mal into the mule."

Zoe stood and looked in disgust from Higgins to Badger, who had sunk to the floor.

"I expect Badger's debt is paid?" she questioned. Higgins nodded.

"I expect is is," he replied.

Zoe and Jayne knelt down and hoisted Mal up between them, placing him carefully in the back of the mule. River climbed in after them, cradling Mal's head on her lap as she wiped away the tears streaming down her face.

Meanwhile, Higgins crouched down beside Badger, who had his face buried in his hands.

"Ah don't worry, cousin," Higgins said. "He'll live. Her on the other hand, well, I'm afraid you've lost her for good." Higgins stood up and regarded the man still kneeling on the cement floor.

"Probably for the best, anyways," he continued. "She was way too good for the likes of you."

The ride back to the ship was a blur for River. All she knew was that Zoe drove as though Reavers were chasing them until they reached the ship. Simon met them in the cargo bay and she watched as Mal was lifted off her lap and rushed into the infirmary for Simon to begin working. Through her tears, she was vaguely aware of Kaylee leading her off the mule and into the common room. She sat down on the couch in a daze and rested her head on a cushion as she waited for any news from Simon. The remainder of the crew gathered with her to wait.

Hours passed before Simon emerged. When he finally did, he looked tired. Zoe noticed him first.

"Any news, doc?" she asked. River sat up straight and waited for Simon's prognosis.

"I've stopped the bleeding," he replied. "And he's stable. He should be alright. Thankfully, the bullet missed any major arteries. A few more inches and it wouldn't have been good."

"Is he awake?" River asked as she stood. "Can I go see him?"

Simon nodded. Without waiting for him to speak, River rushed into the infirmary and stopped in the doorway. Mal was lying on the stretcher, propped up slightly. He looked a little groggy from the pain medication Simon had him on, but he was alive.

"You just gonna stand there, bao bei?" Mal said with a cheeky grin. River smiled in return and walked over to his beside, sitting down on a metal stool. They sat in silence for a few moments, both glad that the other one was alive. River took one of Mal's hands in her own and stroked it softly with a serious look in her eyes.

"Did you mean it?" she asked suddenly. Mal lifted his hand and gently stroked the side of her face.

"Don't say things I don't mean," he replied, then he paused and thought carefully about what he was going to say next.

"You know," he continued. "This may not be the best timing ever. But, I gotta ask ya something."

"What's that?" River replied, her eyes slightly closed at the feeling of Mal's touch. Mal tilted her chin so that she looked at him.  
"River, will you let me court you proper?" he asked with a serious look on his face. River couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She giggled and leaned over to give him her answer.

Years later, Mal would tell his children how that was the best kiss he ever had.

_The End._


End file.
